🌸🌼⚖️ SEASONS AND BALANCE ⚖️🌼🌸

Heeey!

How did the second month of the year go for you? Did you get a Valentine? Do you even celebrate Valentine? If you’ve been part of the Podfriend Squad for a while, then you’ll be familiar with my mixed feelings on Hallmark Card Holidays.

For me, this was one of the years that V-Day wasn’t even mentioned in the house, with the exception of preparing cards for the entire class for my Grade 1 child. Sooo many cards. Kudos to the school for having a ‘no food or treat exchanges’ policy. Honestly, between Halloween and Valentine’s Day candy it’s usually a disaster.

Anyway, coming up soon is International Women’s Day and in some places it’s still equated with Mother’s Day. I’ll never forget receiving a single rose accompanied by the words “Happy Women’s Day, ma’am!” from a male staff member at a hotel in Mexico City. I was so stunned that the only thing I could do was laugh very hard when I reached my hotel room. So, this year’s theme is #InspireInclusion and Shades and Layers - where everyday is Women’s Day - will continue with the work of inclusion. Is International Women’s Day meaningful or important to you?

So, let’s move on to the strawberries in the lead image of this edition. They are there for several reasons. The first one being that we’ll be talking about balance in the latter half of the newsletter. The second is that I’m still tasting the juiciness of ‘Winnie and Nelson: Portrait of A Marriage’ by Jonny Steinberg… Sjoe, guys we need to have an IG Live or some Zoom call about this. Hit reply and say ‘Yes’ if you’d be interested. The third and final reason is that I’m longing for summer. Northern winters feel longer than the ones at home. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the gloriously sunny skies in New England, but as a fellow South African recently pointed out, the winter sun doesn’t quite hit the same - the brightness fools you. You can’t truly feel the sun’s warmth. Its kiss barely grazes your skin……

Alrightie then, let’s get on with the business of this edition. We have:

-About Freedom Fleur our latest episode and its companion episode is From Maputo With Love on preserving traditional crafts and sustainable manufacturing processes.

-Balance and Seasons is an exploration of the illusive concept of ‘Work-Life Balance’

-And finally, what’s keeping my mojo going at the moment: What I’m Loving and Listening To.

But before we get there, please share this newsletter with your friends and if this newsletter was shared with you, please do as the button says 👇🏾. Thank you.

LATEST EPISODE: LUXURY WITH PURPOSE

This has to be one of my favorite episodes - just like all the others I’ve done before this one, of course, LOL. There is great energy and my guest, Kirstie Fleur Horton brought her entire self to the conversation. The Ghanaian-American multi-disciplinary artist and I discussed her sustainable luxury label, Freedom Fleur as well as its associated FF Social Clubs. These clubs are designed for women founders looking for like-minded peers to consult and spar with about the entrepreneurial life. We also discussed her “Soul Health” approach to teaching and healing, and as a tool for doing the internal work that will lead you to your own definition of success. Once again, a layered conversation that deserves more than one listen.

COMPANION LISTEN: “FROM MAPUTO WITH LOVE”

Mozambican artisans and Social Entrepreneurs, Wacy Zacarias and Djamilla De Sousa are the co-founders of the sustainable textile design brand Karingana Textiles. Their work under under this brand is the embodiment of “Handmade With Love”. They are also a real-life example of what sustainability looks like for African brands who are producing and marketing goods on the African continent. The luxurious textiles they make pay homage to and preserve local tradition and sustainable production methods. From using indigenous plant pigments for dyeing to culturally significant weaving techniques. This is one episode not to miss.

BALANCE AND SEASONS

One of the things I loved about living in Denmark (for 12 years or so) was the flexibility of the workplace. I could come in at a decently human hour, do some focused work, take a 20-minute lunch break, power through the afternoon and leave at 3-3:30pm to go and start the second shift at home. If necessary, I would work after the kids were happily in bed and still get to hang out with my other half and sleep at a decent hour. Work-life balance right?

Well, it felt right at the time and the situation provided an appropriate structure for someone with a young family. I could still have a professional life while raising a family in a place very far away from any kind of extended family support. However, even with this semi-comfortable arrangement, I opted out of office life because I’d hit a professional ceiling and wanted/needed to pursue a different path. But suffices to say that I had a pretty good deal there.

Fast forward to life in the United States and after three years of external contact with office culture, I know why this topic is an obsession. There are a countless number of articles and podcasts about how to find balance in your life. Search Apple Podcasts and you’ll see what I mean. See, unlike in other parts of the world - and yes I’m aware of my position of privilege while making these comments - the work culture simply does not allow for the existence of other parts of your life. It’s even worse if you are a low-income earner. Whether you’re a shift worker, blue collar or white collar worker, the pace is relentless. Apart from the cost of living crisis that keeps people in five simultaneous jobs, the work environment is hostile. PE.RI.ODT.

And so it is not a coincidence that movements like The Nap Ministry exist and that there are more Black Women opting for homesteading. Hello Kelis - even though her operation is bigger than a homestead now - and here’s more inspiration in case you were looking. It is also no coincidence that there is an ongoing conflict between employers who want a return to pre-Covid office life and their employees who prefer the hybrid-style of work. Speaking of employees, did someone say Organized Labor? As we know, that’s a swearword in corporate speak and their modern cult-like organizational norms, where colleagues and employers talk about their teams as being a family and what not. Let alone the sickening levels of union busting that goes on, Amazon and Starbucks being the most high profile cases. And of course, the Automotive Industry workers were having none of that and Hollywood also had its moment of reckoning with writer and actor strikes during 2023 - and there might be a new strike led by crew unions this coming summer.

I’m reflecting on this topic - from the comfort of being able to structure my days as I wish - because it came up during my interview with Kirstie Fleur Horton from Freedom Fleur and also in the above-mentioned book about the Mandela’s marriage. Suffices to say there was no such thing as work-life balance for professional women of that generation. It is also a frequent topic of discussion during interviews because of the volume of things my guests are doing in addition to getting a business off the ground or running it. And if you are or have ever been a business owner, you know that a lot rests on you personally, regardless of whether you’re bootstrapping while parenting or marketing while dating. We can talk about the role of ‘Invisible Labor’/‘Emotional Labor’ in the mix of things some other time. Nevertheless, the potential implications - physical and mental - of being involved in so much are worrisome. Some interviewees have even mentioned suffering panic attacks during the normal course of work. It is true that there is an international cost of living crisis and that when it comes to labor and income, Taraji P Henson’s is right: “the math ain’t mathing”. But also, appearances are EVERY.THING over here. There’s a lot of busy work which, naturally, must all be documented online. The number of organizations you are part of, the number of volunteer jobs you take on at the work place, the number of board positions you hold etc. There is a big difference between being busy and being strategically involved in multiple places...

And so, usher in a new wave of women leaders who are willing to be honest and openly say, “work-life balance is a lie”. They are not going to let a new generation of career or entrepreneurial women figure this out on their own - which is usually after some kind of burnout or health scare . Usher in a new language: we are talking about embracing the seasons of our lives now, which amounts to all of us realizing - not just intellectually - that we can’t have it all at the same time, no matter how hard we try. We need to know this at a visceral level and give priority to the parts of our lives that need it at any given moment. However, I still have no clue what that looks like if you’re not earning a living wage. We are still too far from internalizing this and acting accordingly. Workplace wellness is not ideal because ultimately these programmes are designed to get more work out of you. But the conversation is gaining momentum and we need to check in regularly and make sure it’s still all moving in the right direction. The women who came before us took to the streets to be heard, some of us now have a seat at the table, perhaps we shouldn’t get too comfortable. Meaningful change only happens when action is taken, a good start would be pushing for legislation. I’ll leave you with this example from France.

To be continued ….

Hit reply and let me know your thoughts…

WHAT I’M LOVING AND LISTENING TO LATELY?

I usually use the beginning of the year to re-read at least one book that I’ve loved over the years and this year is no different. Not knowing what it is in particular that drew me to Octavia E. Butler’s Xenogenisis Trilogy this year, I dove straight into book one, ‘Dawn’ and as always its timelessness makes it relevant today. I’m still disturbed by the Ooankali, an alien species that ‘saves’ or ‘enslaves’ humanity after we nuke ourselves to near extinction. There are so many themes that are relevant to today, from discussions about ‘third sex’ beings, to settler colonialism, coersion and consent. Definitely a read that will leave you asking what it means to be human and how we relate to one another as beings. In brief, the story in the book, is that extra-terrestrials rescue/capture humans with the intent of creating a new version of humanity/Oankali species to repopulate the earth. When you find out why and the human destiny, you will be most shooketh. I’m usually not a fan of alien shenanigans in books, but this trilogy is worth a read, even for non Sci-Fi people.

My other current read is ‘Launching While Female’ by Susanne Althoff which I must return to the public library before they send me reminder notes and fines. This is an interesting dive into overcoming the institutional blocks that women, non-binary people and the gender expansive meet while trying to launch and run a business.

This newsletter was written while enjoying a mix of largely folk and indie songs from my youth. Yhu guys, the Tracy Chapman resurgence sent me into a down-memory-lane rabbit hole that included Joan Armatrading, Sting, Ben Harper, Lenny Kravitz, John Mayer and Alanis Morissette and other records from my late teens to early twenties.

One last thing, I’m curious about Beyonce’s Cécred Hair Care brand, but after experimenting and being disappointed with a couple of other celebrity-endorsed beauty brands I’m a little skeptical 😭. Which celebrity has a good beauty brand that actually works guys? Which ones have you tried?

That’s it from me this time around. Remember to spread the love and invite your friends to join the squad. Until next time, please do take good care!

Cheers,

Kutloano

(your host with the most)